Logs:The Flying Squirrel Poop Quest

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The Flying Squirrel Poop Quest


Characters: Way and Seraphine as ST
Date: 2020-01-11
Summary: Way and Seraphine embark on a little fun: a scavenger hunt to find Flying Squirrel Feces.
Disclaimers: {{{disclaimers}}}

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I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Do It All The Time


(After Stevie leaves, Way and Seraphine talk it over and a scavenger hunt is decided upon.)


"Yes. I would love to scavenge with you. That would be amazing fun." Seraphine grins at the pregnant joke. "Not until after the wedding, dear." And starts to liquify into giggles again. "Do you need serious stuff still? Things for your shop and all? Or do you want to do silly stuff. It's the silly stuff I think that lets us practice our contracts and such." She offers helpfully.

“I mean, I don't know how much stuff you know how to do. I have learned so many things I can't keep them all straight. I probably spread myself too thin." She says regrettably.”


"How about we do whatever YOU like. If we want to scavenge for some fun and silly things lets do that." Way responds with a chuckle. "I mean, I can get stuff for this place any time." the Gremlin remarks with a nod of his head at her. "Oh...well I have some tricks, mostly stuff that lets me build stuff, or find stuff to build with. But I can make people forget I was even there and fit in as somebody important no matter where I go..." Pausing a moment he tilts his head at her and brings the Darkling's hand up to kiss the fingers. "What about you?"


"Let's see... I can paralyze someone or something so badly they cant move or fight or hurt me. I can hide myself and the members of our group, cloaked in total darkness. I can determine where someone is hiding, I can cause someone to lose all their supernatural energy, like glamour. I can turn back the clock 10 seconds or so so that I can redo whatever I did badly in the first place." She laughs. "I can build anything up to a certain size. I can tell a perfect lie that no one can dispute. I can make someone forget a single thought or memory. I can change someone's fortunes, making their outcome potentially better or worse. I can move myself and my group into a building, not be seen by security cameras and protected from hostile animals. I can even blind someone just by looking at them. No jokes, shorty." She warns with a laugh. "I can also scare someone or a group of someone's silly just by a banshee cry. So i know a few things."


Listening as Sera names off all of the things she can do, the Gremling stares wide eyed at her. "Wow, really?" Way asks still holding on to her hand. "That is pretty impressive. I can't do half of that stuff, but then I guess I don't really need to." Looking around a moment, he spots a crate. Dusting it off, he turns it over to sit on, still peering up at the doll. "I'm also pretty good at getting things I need, or that look interesting. Shrugging at that he adds, "They just kind of...come to me when I need them."


"Your list is very impressive. I bet you /can/ get what you want when you want it. For instance, right now..." She walks right over to the place he's sitting on the crate. "See? You got me to come right to you." Now she laughs. It was nearly set up perfect for that one. "I say... we do impractical stuff rather than practical. No work tonight, no sweating over getting stuff for the shop. Tonight we'll do two items. Each of us can name one of them, so that the other has to take the lead on finding it and somehow obtaining it. The only rule is, you can't use money to buy it. So past items have inlcluded the mall santa suit, a bottle of 100 year old scotch, the fuzzy dice, a floppy disk -- do you know what that is?" She laughs some more. "So it could be super rare, super silly, super complicated or even just easy. Whatever you want to do You come up with one and I'll come up with one!"


Laughing as she walks over to him, Way gives her a big ol smile. "I got you." he replies. Listening to her explain the rules he hmmms and considers the guidelines. "No Wyrd too? That kind of seems like cheating. Right?" the little Gremlin offers in way of making things fair for them since he can pull things out of nowhere. "Floppy disk? That sounds funny. No...uhh should I know what that is?" He snickers at the mall santa suit part. "Hmm okay you go first. Tell me what I should find and I'll tell you."


Seraphine makes Way scoot over so she can sit down too and think about what to challenge him with. "Okay... I think I liked my idea from before but..." She pulls out her phone and after finding at least some spotty reception, she googles what she's looking for then stands. "You will have to find 'Flying squirrel feces' which is a chinese medicinal item used to stop bleeding. Though it says here they odor is so fowl it "may decrease patient compliance with ingesting"." She snickers. "I'm not even sure it's legal in the United States so you're going to have to find a real old school Chinese herbal shop, maybe in Chinatown..." Does NO have a chinatown? She suspects they'll soon find out. "Then we can flip a coin to see who goes fist. Heads (even) you, tails (odd:) me."


Easily he slides over for her and Way smiles up at the sexy AF goth girl. "What? Flying Squirrel feces??" he asks with wide eyes, trying to wrap his brain around just that. "Why would somebody even ingest something like that?" Staring at Sera, he considers and just shakes his head a little. "Yeah okay...so I want you to find a Megaladon tooth." he states, flashing her a huge smile before fishing around in his pocket for a coin. None there, oh wait yes there is! He flips it and the quarter comes up heads, "Okay I go first."


"What is a 'Megaladon Tooth'? Is that some sort of dinosaur or something? I've never heard of anything like that." She stands to follow him back out of the maze that is getting back out of his and Axle's soon-to-be shop. "So where do you want to start?" She asks him, grinning from ear to ear.


"Well a Megaladon was a giant shark about twice the size of a great white...maybe bigger. It could swallow a great white whole." Way explains to her as they begin to head out of the warehouse. "They have been extinct for a few hundred thousand years. Sometimes people find teeth from them." he tells Sera with a knowing smile up at her. "Okay so is there a Chinatown in this place? I don't even know New Orleans.


"Oh yeah. Okay. That's not going to be impossible to find. Might as well just told me to find a leparachaun. Because that would be much easier, including snagging him with his rainbow and pot of gold." She glares at the innocent loooking Way and just shakes her head. "I'm not helping anymore btw, except to be your wing man when this all goes down. So I suggest you google your way into finding a place that sells that shit." She laughs. "Ha! Get it? Shit?"


"Well no, not impossible. Just improbable." he responds with a wry little grin at her, looking so so innocent. "What? You aren't helping?" Way asks, looking up at her with such a sweet angelic manner. "But ... but I thought you loved me." the little Gremlin whimpers, "I love you." He gives that hand he is holding a squeeze. "Don't you love me?"


"Oh! You are SUCH A BRAT!" She yells at him, crawling out the hole in the chain link fence. "You find out where this stuff is and I will back you up however you instruct me, but you have to instruct me." She warns. It's like a pledge; everything is in the careful wording.


Oh he can't help but laugh at that now when she yells at him and calls him a brat. Way pauses to close the link in the fence so nobody notices it is open. "Okay...I get it." he replies, taking out his smart phone. He glares at it for a few seconds, "I hate this thing...but it has its uses." Pulling up Google he starts searching and in no time he beams, "Ah hah! So New Orleans has one of the oldest chinatowns in America. And there is an old Chinese medicine store there on fourth street...let’s go." With that he begins heading for downtown.


Walking, it takes them a bit to get where they're going, but eventually they end up on fourth street in the little Chinatown area. It's late at night and the shop isn't open currently. "Well that's a big bummer. The shop is closed. DIdn't anyone teach you how to use Google and Yelp?" She teases him. It's going to be a long night of teasing, for certain. "Too bad we can't use magic... I'd have us in in a jif." She shrugs and pulls out a cigarette so she can smoke along the sidewalk and pretend she's cool for a while. "So what now, clever britches." She inhales deeply then exhales, away from him of course (she's /not/ a monster!) and ashes her cigarette out into the street, grinning at him the entire time. It's not crowded but this is New Orleans and Mardis Gras is coming. People are definitely out on the streets at this hour.

When they get there and find the shop closed for the night. Despite seeing the closed sign, he tries the doorknob and finds it locked. "Yelp?" Way asks with a glance over at her. "Isn't that a sound you make?" the little Gremlin wonders. "Damn what do we do?" he asks, reaching into his pouch to pull out some tools. "Well, I guess we just give up and go home, right?" as he is messing with the doorknob (actually the lock). "It's all over, you are going to---wait. What is this? It's open." Reaching up, he turns the knob and slowly opens the door. Briefly glancing around, he opens the door for her. "After you, ma'am."


As Way the Smartass is fussing with breaking into the place, Two college guys walk by. "Whoa, look at the midgets!" And then they realise they're picking the lock. "Whoa! Hold up little man, that ain't legal!" It's clear the guys have been drinking, but one of them has the foresight to snap a quick video of Way picking the lock. They high-five each other then slowly saunter back down the street in their original direction. "Way... if we get arrested, I'm going to be the laughing stock of the entire pack. You better make sure this is /fast/." She looks back doubtfully at the two assholes on their phones and ushers Way in hurriedly.

Inside, they find another interesting little bit-o-information. Looks like it's an authentic chinese medicinal shop and all the labels on all the glass jars are all in chinese characters. "So... which one is the right one?" She laughs. It smells /awful/ inside and she sneezes a few times as the herbs and animal by-products aggravate her nose.


Yeah yeah, he is a midget. Way has heard it all before. Turning around to see the college guys he just glares, but then they go trying to snap pictures of him picking the lock. The Gremlin in him isn't going to allow that. With a bit of a hard stare, kind of an angry look, the phone sparks and dies. "Jackasses." he mutters, and then they are heading inside away from them. Once there he stares at all of the Chinese labels and for a moment can't imagine how to figure out what to do. "Oh wait..." Way comments, bringing his phone again. "Hey Google, how do I translate Chinese to English


Yeah yeah, he is a midget. Way has heard it all before. Turning around to see the college guys he just glares, but then they go trying to snap pictures of him picking the lock. The Gremlin in him isn't going to allow that. With a bit of a hard stare, kind of an angry look, the phone sparks and dies. "Jackasses." he mutters, and then they are heading inside away from them. Once there he stares at all of the Chinese labels and for a moment can't imagine how to figure out what to do. "Oh wait..." Way comments, bringing his phone again. "Hey Google, how do I translate Chinese to English?" he asks and begins to scroll through. "What is uhhh AR? Alternative Reality? This might work." Lifting the camera of the phone up to the label it turns Chinese into English right on the screen. "Wow..."


"Well, that was smart..." She then looks around at the thousands and thousands of labelled jars, some of them up higher than Sera's height doubled. And then some. She grimly pulls her phone out too and figures out the app so she can start help scanning labels. "We had better hurry, because we don't want those kids coming back and..." And of course that's about the time she hears the low growl coming from the door to the back room. "Ohhhh shit." There stands one huge German Shepherd Dog with a spiked collar and a menacing way of saying 'hello'. "Way... you got a special app for that?"


As they are searching and hear that growl...Way looks over his shoulder to see the dog and practically screams. He's a fucking racoon. This thing will EAT him! In an instant he jumps up on the nearest counter. "Holy hell, look at the size of that thing! He poops bigger than me!" the Gremlin yells, grabbing a jar next to him to toss at the German Shepherd. It goes sailing over the beast, missing by a mile.


Seraphine doesn't have the option of jumping up on the counter. She can't do athletic things to save her life. So when she is suddenly face to face with this massive guard dog, she does the only thing she /can/ do. She screams. But it's a special sort of Banshee wail that scares the dog and puts the fear of god into him. The dog is terrified. He /looks/ terrified. He loses willpower and turns tail and runs back into the back room where he came from. Of course, this also means that Way becomes spooked by Seraphine at the same time. But at least he won't be eaten by a GSD tonight.

"I don't know whether there are people back there, and whether they're calling the police... you gotta find that shit NOW!" She cries out, though this time it's not a Banshee wail.


Nope he isn't eaten by a massive dog, but he very likely things he is going to get devoured by a creepy and angry SERAPHINE! When the wail goes off, he puts his paws over his ears the best he can and Way curls up into a ball right there on the counter. He doesn't know the dog ran off, he can't even open his eyes right now. At least not for a little while. When he finally does come around, he tries to compose himself and find that doodoo, but the phone is shaking while doing the translation. "I-I can't dodooo this." he says, shivering. "Help me find it, please?"


"Oh my god, Way, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to..." But the damage is done and her friend is struggling up there. Painfully slowly, she piles everything she can find together to make it up on the counter, and even then she is listing dangerously. And then she's there. She tries not to get too close to Way, worried that she'll make him jump or something. "Which one? Which one?" Was that the sound of a shotgun being pumped from the backroom?


Hurry! Hurry! His hand shaking, teeth rattling, and a serious case of the heebie jeebies, Way scans over the Chinese labels to look for Flying Squirrel Feces. He locates the feces section. Why do they have an entire section of POOP?! Then he narrows it down to Flying Squirrel Feces. "Yes! Got it!" he shouts, popping the lid and reaching a hand in to grab some of the crap. "Let's get out of here!" the Changeling exclaims, just as they think they hear the shotgun pumped. In a flash he is scampering out.


Seraphine is right behind him, slamming the glass door behind her with a bang and then running down the street, hiding out in the first alley way they come to. Breathless, she lowers her hand for a low-five. "We did it!" She laughs.