Logs:The Capering Cat Crisis

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The Capering Cat Crisis


Characters: Ian and Lance
Date: 2020-02-25
Summary: It's Mardi Gras and the KITTENS NEED SAVING. (Yes, listen, this log is as silly as it sounds, but it was also fun, so. ENJOY.)
Disclaimers: {{{disclaimers}}}

RUN LITTLE KITTENS RUN~~ This is your soundtrack.

Scatter Cats.gif


<text> Lance to Ian: hey, u free? i can bring the kittens and we can talk? Ur place? Somewhere else?
<text> Ian to Lance: My place if you're OK with serious stuff, otherwise I can meet you at a bar or something?
<text> Lance to Ian: i mean, if i might work
<text> Lance to Ian: <...> <...>
<text> Ian to Lance: You would work, pretty certain
<text> Ian to Lance: But it would be a big deal so
<text> Ian to Lance: Not unless you're ready <3
<text> Lance to Ian: maybe somehwere els tho til ur sure
<text> Lance to Ian: I think Delphine's is near there?
<text> Ian to Lance: Sure :D



Oh Delphine's. Never change. Ian is probably already waiting by the time Lance gets there. He slouches in a booth, hoodie on and up and attention down and focused on the meal before him - waffles and sausages and whipped cream and strawberries.

--

.oO( Lance rolls 0 Dice - Chance )Oo........................................o.
 Roll: Manipulation + Persuasion - 3
 Result: Failure -- (8)
.o...................................................oO( failure (public) )Oo.
Turned into Drama Fail.

There was a flaw in this plan. Lance should've been smart enough to see it, but he wasn't. It means that when he comes in holding a cardboard box of kittens, that as much as the server that passes him by is cooing at the kittens, she's going to send him right back out the door. He casts a not quite desperate look toward where Ian sits, even as he tries to talk his way around New Orleans health codes, much to the increasing annoyance of the server who DOES NOT APPRECIATE having to say NO repeatedly to ADORABLE KITTENS (what kind of MONSTER ARE YOU, LANCE?!). So, spoiler alert: it doesn't work, and kicked right back out the door the kittens and their temporary tender are. There's a text a moment later: "Didn't think this thru. Kittens can't come into the diner. I see u. u look good. want me 2 hang while u eat?"

--

Well... it's real hard to miss the cooing. The kittens. Ian straightens up to stare after Lance - and then smothers a laugh and waves for the waitress. "Could you box this up for me, please?" he asks sweetly, and fishes out $40 to put on the table as tip. And then he's getting up to go find Lance and his meowing box, a grin on his face. "I'll be right outside," he indicates to the waitress, and steps out onto the sidewalk, checking his phone as he goes. The text gets a smothered laugh and he puts it back in his pocket, then beelines for the box. "Hello sweethearts," croons the dragon, reaching to pull the cardboard open just a /little/ bit so a tiny, fuzzy face can poke through. "Hi there!" Petting with one fingertip commences - if they're socialized, of course.

--

Lance's friend who knows cats must have known what she was doing because the kittens are just about the degree of socialized as one might expect for kittens found near the scene of an EMS call a week or so ago. The junior who's doubtless spent time with the kittens already himself has eyes not for the fuzzballs but for Ian greeting them. His smile is bemused, blue eyes evidently enjoying the interaction of the other young man with mewling fuzzy faces. "I think she was calling that one Neko. For the good luck cats." The humor grows in the blonde's expression, one hand reaching to push back through is wavy locks. "I didn't think this part through, either. Never thought I'd be jealous of cats." It's wry, but there's a grain of truth there. Still, Lance's SL:2 can't compete with the natural Adorable Looks: 1,000,000+ of kittens. Multiplied exponentially as the box is opened just a little more by a second fuzzy face.

--

Sorry Lance, there's no way you take precedence over the adorable furballs. "Hellooooo," Ian croons, and one can see him warring with himself over whether to take them out of the box... probably not safe, even if they do seem just fine. "Oh god you're so adorable," hey, he'd notice Lance if there weren't kittens in the room. "Let's go sit in the car, okay? Bill is doing an errand, he'll be back in a few minutes, I have to text him anyway and that way they won't accidentally get out..." Herd herd towards the Genesis parked over yonder. It's a nice freaking car. Ian just opens the back door by touching the handle and tugging, then climbs in the back, taking a few moments about it because even invisible, the wings take some maneuvering. "Okay," he says, when he's in position. "Gimme kitties." Beam.

--

When it comes to Kitten Control, Lance is more than willing to be led by the resident expert. Right now, he's just the mean ol' muscle that (so gently) pokes tiny heads back into the box so he can mush the lid back into its more or less closed state, much to the consternation if the tiny denizens of the Cardboard Hovel. He's watching the box for signs of imminent escape as much as he's keeping an eye on Ian while the Elemental gets himself in and settled, and since these things are invisible to his eye, there's a moment of a puckered brow consideration, but mortal that he is, he probably just writes it off as Ian wanting to be situated just right to receive those kittens.

It all would have been fine. This Mardi Gras day would have been fine, if not for the fact that as Lance shifts the box to start handing kittens in (one at a time, why, Lance, why), there's a spurt of noise from one side of the parking lot. It's not a gunshot, but on first instinct, the non-trained soldier can readily mistake the pop of a firecracker let off in INNOCENT FUN (ha) for just that sound and Lance flinches hard enough that the box shifts in his strong arm just wrong and the bottom falls out. GERONIMO KITTENS! FREEDOM IS YOURS!!

--

Oh Lance. The BOX, Lance, the BOX - "Wait, no," Ian protests as Lance /opens/ the box because exactly what's going to happen is very clear. "No, there's two of them, they'll jump--" Lance has forgotten that kitties think in three dimensions. This mistake can be rectified by passing the /entire box/... whose bottom just fell out. "Oh shit!" Ian's gasp is shocked. LANCE. How COULD you! Immediately he's popping open the door on the other side of the car and scrambling out. "There's only two, right?!" Please say there are only two.

--

<OOC> Lance is using his Inspired condition on this roll, TO SAVE MARDI GRAS for kittens (and by extension Ian). And also a WP point.
<spend> Lance spends 1 point of his Willpower pool.
.oO( Lance rolls 4 Dice )Oo.................................................o.
 Roll: Presence - 1 (untrained animal ken) + 3
 Result: Success (1) -- (6 8 2 4)
.o...................................................oO( success (public) )Oo.

Oh, Ian. Sweet Ian. There are FIVE of them. If you thought this was going to be EASY, you are out of luck. They don't even divvy up evenly for rescue! They can't each save 2.5 of them, RIGHT? That sounds like it could be REALLY BAD for ADORABLE KITTENS* (*WHO WILL NOT BE HURT IN THE MAKING OF THIS SCENE).

"Oh, shit!" is an echoing understatement of epic proportion.

The first glance is into the box - did any not drop down onto the pavement? "There are five!" Lance-the-EMT who's used to panic situations (but not involving kittens!) communicates the relevant detail even as he's dropping the box and sweeping down to try to wrangle two of the five before they get too far. But freedom is SWEET and off they go to explore~~ LOOK OUT, MARDI GRAS, THESE PUSSIES ARE HERE TO PARTAY~~

One hand manages to snag hindquarters which jerks his opposite arm as he tries to get both hands around one cat. Then... what to do with them? The box... well, it's not a good option right now. So Lance puts the kitten in the car and closes the door. Hopefully this will not lead to kitten re-capture: redux, but for now, it's the best option. Right?

--

<spend> Ian spends 1 (-1 points) of his Glamour pool for Siren's Song.

.oO( Ian rolls 13 Dice )Oo..................................................o.
 Roll: Presence + Expression.Music + Wyrd
 Result: Success (4) -- (3 10 8 10 7 6 2 1 6 4 4 9 5 5 2)
.o...................................................oO( success (public) )Oo.
.oO( Lance rolls 2 Dice )Oo.................................................o.
 Roll: Composure
 Result: Failure -- (5 5)
.o...................................................oO( failure (public) )Oo.
Lance gains Swooned condition for Nightsinger Kith Blessing.

"FIVE!" Ian protests, "You only ever showed me TWO!" Oh god. Ian scrambles and grabs and quickly croons, "It's all right sweetheart," and then fumbles the kitten into one hand while popping out his phone with the other. A speed dial is pressed. "Bill," he says rapidly, "There are five kittens and they're loose, I need you back here /now/." Someone's got to hold the box while Ian rounds up -- he drops the phone, tosses it right into the car, which is open on his side, and snatches up another kitten. "Hello sweetie!" Despite the urgency, despite the rush, he's got a split second to plant a tiny kiss on an even tinier little fluffy head. Then? Into the car the two go, and Ian's scrambling to block them and... fuck it.

"Three little kittens have lost their mittens." Ian is singing. "And don't know where to fiiiind them. Leave them alone and they'll come home, dragging their tails behiiiind them." The thing is, even such an ordinary little ditty is a perfectly distracting song to hear, haunting and melodious and instrumental somehow with no music behind it at all.

The kittens don't have a chance - they'll end up frozen in place in their little scamper-flee, just listening. That should make them easier to catch - if Lance doesn't end up frozen himself.

--

Lance stops. It's not a slow thing. It's an immediate refusal of his muscles to do anything but listen to the unearthly song set to such mundane lyrics. His jaw goes slack, he sinks down to his knees. Blue eyes hold nothing but utter enchantment with Ian, the source of that song.

It so happens, though, that while Lance is the closest, he's not the only mortal to fall prey to the Nightsinger's song. That group of people over yonder? You know, the ones with the beers and the firecrackers and all? They all stop to stare.

--

.oO( Ian rolls 6 Dice )Oo...................................................o.
 Roll: Perception
 Result: Failure -- (6 5 7 6 1 6)
.o...................................................oO( failure (public) )Oo.
Turned into a Drama Fail.

Well... good. That means nobody's going to try to hurt the kittens. Ian scampers after the kittens like a dragon possessed. "Three blind mice, three bind mice!" One. "See how they run!" Scamper, scamper... two! "They all went up to the farmer's wife, she cut off their tails with a carving knife..." Ian is desperately looking around, getting more and more panicked, for the last kitten... no joy. "Oh what a bitch would do such a slight to three blind mice..." Nope, he's out of music. In the last few heartbeats Ian scrambles to the car to dump those two kittens inside - without letting the other two out, which is the hard part - and then the door swings shut and he literally trips over Lance as he's trying to get up and /find the other kitten/. Ian crashes to the ground and the singing stops. Glass and concrete don't get along so well.

Ian takes some lethal and is now lightly bleeding.

--

.oO( Lance rolls 5 Dice )Oo.................................................o.
 Roll: Perception
 Result: Success (1) -- (8 4 4 4 6)
.o...................................................oO( success (public) )Oo.

The song stops. The return to higher thought isn't quite as immediate as slack-jawed Lance would probably like, but it's swift enough that before Ian's got a chance to right himself, the jock is crawling the short distance to where he fell, following the routine patterns of someone who's job is literally to deal with injuries (spoiler alert... it is).

"Ian," is tinged with desperation, but not the kind that's appropriate to a First Responder. "Are you okay?" That's more normal, a phrase learned by rote to offer and respond with. If Ian were anyone else and if Lance hadn't just swooned hard for the Nightsinger, he might have more compunctions about his hands starting to check the Elemental over without getting explicit consent, but they're friends, right? Sort of? It's possible he's not thinking clearly yet.

--

Ack. Ian makes a little squawking noise. "I can't find the last one!" Dammit, now is not the time to break his backside. Squirming and scrambling commences - he's got to get over there, look under the car, and, "Ow!" Yeah, that hurt. "Get the kitten, Lance!" He tugs his elbow up and looks at it with distress. Glass fractures, it turns out.

--

.oO( Lance rolls 8 Dice )Oo.................................................o.
 Roll: Wits + Medicine.First Aid
 Result: Success (1) -- (3 2 2 7 5 9 4 1)
.o...................................................oO( success (public) )Oo.
.oO( Lance rolls 5 Dice )Oo.................................................o.
 Roll: Perception
 Result: Success (2) -- (6 10 5 5 8 1)
.o...................................................oO( success (public) )Oo.
.oO( Lance rolls 1 Dice )Oo.................................................o.
 Roll: Presence - 1 (untrained animal ken)
 Result: Failure -- (6)
.o...................................................oO( failure (public) )Oo.

There's a lot to be distracted by but Lance isn't going after the one remaining kitten until he's sure that Ian didn't suffer any extensive damage. It takes him a moment, aided by Ian's own attention to the area in question. "Going to need to clean that." He tells the Elemental, but since that seems to be the worst of it, he's up in the next heartbeat to look around for Neko (IT WOULD BE THE LUCKY ONE, RIGHT?). "Here, kitty kitty!" He calls. He even spots the kitten ducking under a parked car and makes a grab-- and gets air. Just air. "Shit. Ian! Over here!"

Hopefully, Ian can get over here considering that there's a handful of curious mortals starting to converge on the singer of that bizarrely phenomenal song.

--

.oO( Ian rolls 4 Dice )Oo...................................................o.
 Roll: Presence + Intimidation
 Result: Success (1) -- (1 8 6 4)
.o...................................................oO( success (public) )Oo.
.oO( Ian rolls 4 Dice )Oo...................................................o.
 Roll: Dexterity + Animal Ken.Felines
 Result: Success (4) -- (10 5 2 9 10 10 1)
.o...................................................oO( success (public) )Oo.

Yeah, Ian hasn't noticed. "Scram," he says as he shoves past - when did all these people get here? "I SAID BACK OFF!" His voice bursts out of him in something so much like a roar that people do part to let him through. Down he crouches, and stares under the car at the now-terrified little kitten. "Okay, Lance, I'm going to need you to reach under and roll a bit of gravel towards me, all right?" His plan is real simple: if he knows cats, and he does, the kitten will pounce it. "If everybody stays quiet, he'll come running. If he bolts, I'll get him." At least, that's the plan. He's ready to pounce. "You can do it."

--

Well, Lance's eyes are a little large as he glances back toward that roar. Slender Ian, with all that raw(r) authority surprise him, although seeing as how it's not directed at him, he manages to draw his eyes back to the terrified kitten. Since the Lost is the animal person here, Lance takes a breath, shrugs his shoulders and does as he's told, nudging the gravel with his fingers so it rolls, so the kitten will pounce and maybe this furry nightmare can be over. At least Ian's roar does seem to have prompted the gathered handful to give the Nightsinger some distance, though some have only stopped a car or two away in the parking lot to watch.

--

Knowing people, someone's probably recording it. Yet another Christian Blake sighting, brought to you by Youtube. Ian slides low and slithers part-way under the car, his wings undignified behind him, but that's fine since no one can see them - hopefully. Patience. Calm. Silence... and then the kitten comes fully into reach, batting at the rock, and Ian swipes him up. "Gotcha!" The other hand collects the gravel and presents it to the kitten, and Ian starts wiggling out from under the car, surely an entertaining sight for the gathered crowd.

--

.oO( Lance rolls 5 Dice )Oo.................................................o.
 Roll: Perception
 Result: Success (2) -- (8 1 7 8 5)
.o...................................................oO( success (public) )Oo.

Lance is sliding back out the other side as soon as the kitten capture is complete and that makes him first on his feet. His eyes take in the onlookers... the phones recording or taking pictures and he hisses out a breath. He's on the move then to get to where he can try to use his body to block some of the camera angles. "Ian, we need to get out of here. Cameras." That much the blonde can say even as he casts a glance looking about for Bill probably.

--

Bill is actually already there, over by the Genesis, inside the car and busy wrangling kittens into a box. Ian's takeout is on the top of the car, collected from the waitress at Delphine's. It's coming together - they may get out of this without being mobbed!

"I'm coming," Ian says breathlessly. That'll go on someone's favorite video snips. "What's-- oh." He's up, with tiny squirming kitten, and he blinks with rather wide eyes at the assembled crowd. First impulse: turn into a dragon and fly away. BAD IDEA. Second impulse: try /really/ roaring. Probably not good either. He's just going to stand there looking shocked and frozen for a moment while he contemplates his options. "MEER!" says Neko.

--

Good, ol' Bill. Lance glances around one more time, and then with a slight nod to himself of some decision made, he's herding Ian toward the car ad if he were a stray kitten (or rather, a celebrity in need of a blocker). He'll be that inasmuch as he's able for Ian, getting him to the car. "You go," he tells the Elemental as they get to the car and he starts to help Bill with getting the takeout in, the kittens in, the Ian in. "I'll be by later to help with your elbow. I'm gonna see if I can distract them." Keep them from getting any closer, at any rate. How? Maybe Lance doesn't even know, but that's fine, right? He'll figure it out.

--

"But--" Ian nevertheless gets herded into the car with great care - only to have Bill reach back and hoist the kitten from his hands. "Okay," he says, but he sounds like protesting. "Bill's going to come get you all right? Don't go too far. I'll give him your number." And yes, he's forgotten to buckle his damn belt again. The wings really make that awkward.

--

.oO( Lance rolls 3 Dice )Oo.................................................o.
 Roll: Manipulation + Subterfuge
 Result: Failure -- (3 7 1)
.o...................................................oO( failure (public) )Oo.

"Okay," Lance agrees, leaning into the car, blocking the door with his body as he reaches to, YES, buckle that seatbelt for Ian, but he ends the movement by impulsively kissing the Changeling currently responsible for his confusing but very figuratively real butterflies in the stomach. "I'll be nearby." Then he's off, to... save Mardi Gras? Or just claim, loudly, that there's free beers at a bar down the way. Look, he tried. He's just not a great liar, as it turns out, but what can one really expect from a guy who can manage to be super awkward BY TEXT MESSAGE.

--

 Lance opts to fail against Ian's persuasion social roll, resolving Swooning condition.

Okay, that does that, "LANCE," Ian calls, his voice imperative, "Get in this car right now! Bill, get him. We can't just leave him here, they'll tear him apart!" Bill looks back and forth between the box and the door and... hands the box over to Ian. Carefully, hand on the bottom-like. Then? Out he comes to get Lance around to the other side of the car and in. This is just not going to go well, is it. So much for a seamless escape!

--

.oO( Lance rolls 6 Dice )Oo.................................................o.
 Roll: Stamina + Athletics
 Result: Success (3) -- (3 7 10 3 7 9 9)
.o...................................................oO( success (public) )Oo.

So there are a few little hiccups, it's fine! Given the butterflies left behind from the singer's Siren's Song, the poor, naive mortal's quest to be mildly heroic trying to provide a distraction for the celebrity's escape is curtailed effectively by the call of his name in that demanding tone. So it is that when Bill comes for Lance, Lance is already on his way back, sprinting very inconspicuously in a way that's almost definitely also getting captured on one of those cameras, to hurl himself back into Ian's vehicle and get with the buckling.

--

Oh good grief. Now they look guilty of something. Still, Ian can't help a wild, pleased grin, and Lance is getting grabbed by the hair and kissed /thoroughly/ while Bill scrambles back into the car and Ian keeps a hand on the mewling box. He lets Lance go with humor sparkling in his eyes. "Five kittens. You sweet idiot." Yup. Lance has been upgraded to 'sweet'. And idiot, but he knew that. The Genesis peels out of the parking lot before the crowd can stop it.