Logs:Cryptid Wars: Spice World War II

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Cryptid Wars: Spice World War II

Characters: Axle, Seraphine, Fawn, Jeanie, and introducing Ramsey as ST!
Date: 2020-03-10
Summary: A night out at a weird bar never happens, as the sins of the past catch up to our heroes on... Grunch Road.
Disclaimers: {{{disclaimers}}}


Murder Train - The Foreskins
It's Tuesday Night in the Big Easy. That means half price hurricanes at Congo Bob's out on farm road whateveritis, out on the edge of town near the causeway. And that is cause for celebration in and of itself! But sadly, the party never reaches the land of pineapple themed appetizers and insidiously cheap hooch. Because the seeds of chaos have already been sewn, have been roasted, ground and percolated into the frothy hot brew of darkness with a double shot of espresso. Because gas ran out, and they're at the Philips 66 that can't decide if it's a Texaco instead, and from the darkness, something watches. Something moves. Something that they awoke.

Seraphine looks up at the sign and, already inebriated (because she pre-partied), she indeed cannot tell the difference between the Philips 66 and the Texaco sign. But she looks around into thick, humid darkness and a chill raises up her arms and neck, despite the relative warmth of the night air. "Okay, whose responibility was it to carry the cash out here for gas?" She feels her pockets and realises she left her cash at home. Way to go Seraphine!

Putter, putter, putter. Nothing like driving out of town at night to be a signal for car trouble and the CR-V that rolls (barely) on into the gas station is smoking like something fresh outta hell. Jeanie coughs as she gets out of the car parked well away from the pumps, waving some of the smoke away from her face as she does so. Her phone is pulled out of a pocket, grumbled at and hastily shoved back in said pocket as she heads for the convenience store door. "How the heck do I lose service when I'm not even THAT far out of town?" Cause might as well walk right into a horror movie cliches when the moon is full or nearly so, right?

"Mmm.. Ya know, pineapple bbq sliders sound really good right about now," Fawn says in response to her stomach giving a rather large growl as she steps out of the car and looks around. She lifts her arms above her head and gives a long stretch, followed by a soft yawn, and then she's focusing her attention on Jeanie. "Gotta go with another carrier.. Then again. It's Louisiana.." She smirks a bit and takes her phone out to check her own service.

Damn that Ramsey, not gasing up the old truck before it got stolen by his friends. It must also be what caused Jeanie's CR-V to break down. OR IS IT? No, it was probably the curse. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of movement through the grungy glass covered in cigarette ads and faded posters for ice cream sandwiches, but a flickering light is on inside. Perhaps an attendant? Who can say. The door stands ajar slightly, a cinder block propping it for the air flow. The only other vehicle here is an old Plymouth beater parked around by the bathrooms.

The Worm Moon likes to jam it in and break it off. Axle is still on a sober kick, so she agreed to drive the "borrowed" truck out to Congo Bob's and be the designated driver for the evening, following Jeanie in her CR-V to their destination. Ramsey will be off chasing butterflies or whatever he does during the full moon, so it's not like he will need the truck. When she spies Jeanie pulling off into the filling station with curls of smoke coming out from under her hood, she signals and turns off, telling the others in the front seat, "Uh oh. Looks like trouble." She hops down out of the cab and shuts the door, heading over toward the coasted vehicle. "This happen before?" she asks Jeanie, focusing on the downed vehicle and not the creepy Eyes On Them sensations.

"I gotta pee." Of course Seraphine does, she's been drinking all night and despite the open container laws, she's got a big bottle of bourbon in her oversized bag. Like, BYOBooze night is hopeuflly happening at the pineapple place. She's praying. "Anybody else want to go?" She can't quite shake the creepy feeling, looking at the decrepit building, faded signs and the cinderblock propping the door open. It all seems a little weird. Changelings tend to have the inherent weird-factor feeling radar as it's sometimes necessary for survival.

"Not often," Jeanie answers for Axle with a glare for her disappointing (and maybe totally cursed) car. "Normally I just call AAA, but no service." She shrugs. What can one do except grin at Fawn's suggestion. "Got any recommendations?" She walks just a few steps to the door, but pauses to stare at the flickering light. Jeanie shivers as Seraphine walks by and starts to reach out a hand. "Does anything look a bit... spooky to you?" Like everything.

Maybe it's the quiet. Maybe it's that it's humid enough to feel the vibrations through the air like watching the water move when the T-Rex walks. But whatever the case, things are sensed. Heard and felt more than seen but there's something out there. And, moreover, something in here, well, around here, at the station. Was that motion behind the old tire stack, or something scuttling inside? And a smell, like a penny tastes, sharp in the nose, coming from in there...

Fawn shifts around here and there, phone lifted and trying to find a signal, but soon it's put away in her back pocket. Nope. She starts to look towards Jeanie again with a grin, but something tells her to look elsewhere, and soon she's glancing about. Lots of horror films -have- started this way, so Fawn's keeping her paranoid gaze on the area. Ya know. In case zombies come out or something. She pulls her sweater-jacket tighter around her form and crosses her arms over her chest as she scans around, just waiting for it. "Nhh.. Yeah. It all looks spooky as hell. I swear to god if some leatherface psycho pops out.. Really. Sera, can't you.. I dunno. Piss in the bushes or something? You're gonna get killed going into the bathrooms here. Don't you know that's where Candy Man lives?" She grumbles a bit, nose twitching, and she looks over towards Jeanie, "Oy, Jeanie.." Her head tilts just a bit with a 'I wouldn't do that' look sent Jeanie's way.

The hood of Jeanie's car is carefully opened so as to let out the excess smoke, and so she can check out what has caused it to stop running. But the sensation the others are picking up on are causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up, too. She cracks some serious knuckles before she casually heads back toward the truck -- as if to fetch a tool to fix Jeanie's engine. But instead, she's going for the tire iron that Ramsey keeps behind the front seat of the pickup; yes, she regularly inventories other people's tools. It's a mental illness, people. Who needs a tire iron for engine work?

Seraphine nods at Fawn's good advice. "Uhhh... yeah. Maybe I will." Never mind Seraphine's 6" heels and skin-tight mini. At this point she's rather brave the bushes in her current garb, rather than the creepy service station. And she does note the tire iron now in Axle's hands. "I'll just be over there, right behind the bushes, and /don't/ leave with out me, Okay guys?" She hurries off to do her thing.

Nope, nope, nope. Jeanie's going to backpedal quickly towards the safety of her hopefully not on fire car and Axle's tire iron. The call of 2 for $1 Diet Cokes just aren't worth it. "I don't think it's leather face, but do you hear that? The click-click?" She taps a nail on the side of her car, not an exact replica but something close enough.

It's always the first to separate themselves from the group that gets targeted first, right? As Seraphine goes behind a bush, there is a sound from behind her, in the marshy grass, a wet sound like a step and a slither, but that's not all. There's a goat there, or what's left of a goat. It seems to have been somebody's goat, given the little collar and red necktie, and the name tag that says "Hi, My name is: HALAL". But it's been killed. Vampired maybe. Dessicated? Totally not where you want to do your business. And whatever did this is right through that grass, and coming faster with a gurgling sound that pitches high then low! From the flickering light of the convenience store, a shadow fills the doorway, shapeless so far.

Shifting her eyes about, Fawn gives a slow, "Nooooo.." in response to Jeanie, that's barely audible. It's distracted, that's what. She isn't about to turn around and put her back to the shop, but she does turn slightly so she can keep an eye on where Seraphine is click-clacking her way off to. "If you need a tissue, just holler!" she calls to the woman before glancing back towards the shop and bathrooms.

"Damn it, just pee by the truck," Axle says, but it's too late for that now; Seraphine has already headed away from the group and into horror movie territory. The wolf blood tightens and loosens her grip on the tire iron; one of the simple single bend type and not the 4-way, X-shaped kind. Still holding on to it, she heads back over to poke around under the hood to see if what's going on with the truck is an easy fix or if they should ditch the CR-V and flee in the truck until sunrise.

Seraphine gets behind the bushes, and immediately notes the goat. Or the remains of the goat and his little red neck tie. She looks around and hears the gurgling sound and immediately loses her shit. "Oh fucking HELL!" She tries to run back to the girls but she's not sure she's going to make it before she ends up like Halal.

Good thing Jeanie didn't find poor Halal. She might have puked or cried or both. As all the creepiness is mounting, she opens her car and pulls out one of those GIGANTIC maglights that may or may not be police issue and definitely should double as a beating stick. For now she uses it for the light part, clicking it on and sweeping towards Seraphine's rush. "What is it? Was someone in the bushes?" She's still firmly in the someone and not something being most likely.

Those notions are... Disabused. Seraphine might need more than a tissue soon! As the changeling comes running in her heels from behind the bushes, something follows. Squat, pallid, with more limbs than you'd expect. Four that it runs on and two more like arms. It's flesh is droopy and bristles with coarse dark hairs almost like quills, with a pinched face that might be rodentlike if it weren't so unsettlingly human. It's eyes aren't. They're pure horror, eighball fractured with red veins tracing through, though the blast from the maglight makes it rear up on its squat hind legs, like a corgi trying to balance on its hind feet. The worst corgi. Tonight is the full moon, but there's no worse night to find yourself out here, at the intersection of Grunch Road... From the station the door swings open a bit and the sound of that clicking grows louder. Click-click click-click, in double rhythm. In the years to come, some might wonder when the war began. It was here that the first tire iron and maglight were brandished against the Grunch. But far from the last.

Fawn spins around when she hears Seraphine yell and she takes a few steps in that direction, but then there's that click Jeanie mentioned. The brunette spins back around and starts to take backwards steps as her eyes grow wide. It's not long before she's bumping into the side of Ramsey's truck and scrambling towards the back. She starts towards the bushes then, and releases a scream when she sees the monstrosity that comes from the water. A gator would have been welcome, but this!? Fawn runs faster now, aiming to get to Seraphine and help her before that thing gets her!

Axle sets the tire iron down under the hood and fishes into her back pocket for her multi-tool, working quickly and with focus, in spite of the chaos erupting around her and the little voice in the back of her brain, in that reptilian part of it, telling her to get the fuck out of Dodge. "Jeanie? Get in and turn over the engine," she calmly tells the girl with the gigantic flashlight. "Get in the truck!" she calls toward the other two, without looking away from what she is doing under the hood. She can't fight monsters all that well, but she can see what's wrong with the CR-V and fix it quickly enough for them to -- hopefully -- leave monsters in the dust.

Seraphine, in her utter fear, manages to think, just for a moment and stops. Suddenly she grows much larger and beautiful and terrible all at the same time. Whatever it is, it is gravely affected by her new stature and suddenly unable to attack her. She holds out a hand to stop it and then starts to back away, slowly. In a nervous voice she yells out, "Guys.. we gotta get out of here!"

"We're gonna get out of here. NOW!!!" Jeanie's tone has no doubt that they can achieve this task despite every scary movie ever saying they're probably all about Doomed, even as she's echoing Sera. Except maybe Fawn. Maybe she's the innocent one? But stars are beginning to align as Axle works magic with the truck and Seraphine's doing whatever it was that was, Jeanie gets in and it does indeed rev up without an instant cloud of smoke which is as much as she could ask for given the situations. The flashlight's not going far, safely tucked in her lap JUST IN CASE. It's time for this train to start backing on up!

The clicking hits the outside pavement. And stops. There in the flickering floodlight stands a larger one. Subtly different, a little greener, with a more pronounced proboscis and yellow, beady eyes, its whiskers forming tufts at the side and it's too-human mouth grinning wide. On its four stubby legs it wears two pair of apple red pumps, and a belt around its midsection, indicating its status. "Ohhh dear, what have we here? The ones who awakened the hunger of the grunch, back to the scene, hmmmmm? How simply... Delicious." Its voice is deep but pitched to falsetto and crooning with hate. Blood drips from the spike at the end of its nose and as it talks, more forms start to lift from bushes and debris piles. Smaller, cruder of course, each twisted in its own awful way. One has little baby hands for all of its feet and it is just.. The worst.


VROOM VROOM. Okay, maybe Jeanie's jury-rigged engine doesn't make that quite exciting sound but it's moving and she's not even going to try and slow down as that whatsit or whosit comes out with that terrifying blood dripping probiscus and a voice to make her hair stand up on end. Just keep driving, just keep driving, even as the shadows and crud starts forming out of the bushes and... are those baby hands? Best not to look and just put the foot down to the floor...

The tire sound grinds into the asphalt and gravel as the CR-V lurches forward, toward the grunch with the horrible baby hand feet, seeking to rid the world of its shit. The front bumper clips it and it goes flying with an oddly Willhelmish scream, thudding into the RC Cola machine, making it CHUNK down and two cans dumping into the scoop, one bursting and spraying fizzy sugar water everywhere.

Fawn is like Forrest Gump, running her ass off over to where Seraphine is and skidding to a stop beside the woman, just in time to see the hand going up and.. creature backing away. Wtf?! Fawn looks to the little monster tamer and back, then pinches at Sera's dress (it's skin tight!) to try and give her the tug she needs to run away with her and back to the truck. "C'mon! We ain't leaving you. Run!" She'll then turn and start running back to the truck.

"Cheezle?! NOOO!" Hisses the most regal of the beasts, standing there with a monster slim jim in hand and points at the car. However, its upright minion is in a daze from whatever whammy Seraphine put on it, and it stomps its red shoed feet and begins to speak something profane in what could almost be a language if it weren't so fucking gross. Ending with a spit, the chupacabra king hurls some sort of juju bag at the stunned one that had been pursuing Seraphine, releasing a putrid green cloud that the thing inhales sharply, starting to twist and writhe even as it tries to break out of its insensate state but isn't quite there.

Axle had the goose sense to pick up the tire iron and shut the hood of the CR-V as Jeanie fled to get behind the wheel, leaving her to jog the distance back to Ramsey's borrowed truck and open the door, getting behind the wheel; the keys were left in the ignition so no time is needed to line up the key. All she has to do is turn it, the tire iron still resting in her left hand as she starts with truck with the right, one leg still sticking out the driver's side door as chaos continues to erupt all around.

From the spray of RC Cola, Cheezle shakily gets to its really just awful feet. "Whew! That thing hits like a truck..." it screeches, to which its leader replies "I think it's actually a crossover? GET THEM!" Waddling forward on its baby hands, the grunch starts to gallop like a horse and picks up a squeegee as it starts to give chase. Over where the stunned Glumbert has inhaled the gas from the bag, it's starting to hulk out, it's human arms on its minimal torso get all beefy like a He-Man figure and it grabs its head, trying to shake free of the supernatural terror before rage guides it through, rearing up once more, black eyes opening and turning toward the pickup that Axle is starting.

Seraphine calls on the myriad of distractions from Arcadia and manages to turn and blind and deafen Glumbert, so he cannot attack the girls. She is like Carrie at prom, flinging this stuff wherever there is a threat.

Jeanie winces as the SUV definitely makes contact with something even if she has no idea what to call the monstrosity that is Cheezle. She'll continue backing her way out of the parking lot, keeping a close eye on the truck and maybe saying a prayer to anyone that will listen that they actually start MOVING. While she's not about to actually jump out of the car and fight anyone, she will fling on her high beams just in case the monsters are sensitive to light.

Fawn does toss a glance over her shoulder to make sure Sera isn't needing her to run back and drag her to the truck, and seeing that she has it under control, Fawn keeps running. She doesn't have time for doors, so she just about vaults it up into the back of the pickup and bangs on the roof. "Back 'er up!" Fawn calls down to Axle in case they need to get closer to Seraphine. But of course, she's not the one driving!

A dark hissing growl escapes from the lead creature as it fumes, seeing its chosen soldier struck blind and deaf just as he was about to charge. "Ahh... Your kind... With your fitlthy... Alien... Magic..." There is a hiss from it's second throat, the one it uses to do other things than talk, and the lights start to dim behind it, as if power is being sucked and the sound of red pumps on asphalt and gravel begin to pick up speed as it starts to charge at Seraphine while the vehicles are repositioning, a surprisingly dextrous hand with sharp fingertips rising and reaching out as if plucking in an upsetting way as its sharpened snout tip waffles side to side and inhales sharply. The changeling can feel her breath trying to be sipped away, stolen, like she just came within a hair of her voice being stolen away, but the thing must settle for a slicing gouge into the diminutive Lost.

Seraphine takes significant lethal and is now noticeably bleeding.

"GABARGLE!" His spirit lives on in spite of Johnny's absence from the pack, as Axle drops out of the open doorway of the truck and runs full speed at the creature that struck out at Seraphine, brandishing the tire iron in a two-handed grip and lashing out at the cryptid with it, leaving the door to the truck open and the engine running with poor Fawn in the bed of the vehicle. Course she can climb through the back window to get inside the cab and drive anywhere she likes.

"Boss? Boss I can't see! Whaaaat! Ahhhwww nnnnooooo, it was the goat, it gave me the virus all the humans are worried abouuuut!" Glumbert is very strong and very useless right now, but squeegee-armed Cheezle gallops toward Jeanie's SUV and takes a dive, swinging the squeegee like a rock climber's pick, shattering through the back window to hold on with a gleeful screech, not seeing as the boss gets a wallop from a tire iron and is set back reeling a bit.

Seraphine turns toward Gromble, the one who injured her, and with the fury of her connection to arcadia she strikes him blind and dumb. But she is greviously hurt and starts to crumple a bit.

Jeanie really, really doesn't want to get near whatever those things are, but losing someone else to them would be even worse. She tosses the car into park and barrels out towards Seraphine and Axle. "We have got to go..." There's a shriek as she sees Seraphine take that latest injury and lashes out towards the nearest monster with the flashlight, butt first.

Jeanie's swing at the lead creature is well intentioned and utterly doomed, as her fingers let go of the maglight and send it spinning end over end far away into a pile of tires. Thump.

Drive some? She totally will! Fawn ain't got time for shuffling through windows, so she hops over the side of the truck and jumps into the cab, throwing that bitch into reverse and following along behind Axle while looking through the back mirror to make sure she doesn't run any of her friends over. She will get close enough and put it in drive, then wait for the girls to get in so she can floor it! Sorry Jeanie's car! might have to come back for you. Like your bag of trash. Speaking of..

"Gaaahhh! Witch!" The lead grunch flails around with its claws as its vision and hearing become distorted, freaking out, just like Glumbert before him, leaving only Cheezle, who has invaded a car that... No longer has Jeanie in it. "Cheezle! Cheezle, we have to cheese it! Help us!" Backing away, the two blinded ones go back to back, putting their dukes up.

"Booooss! Nooo! I'll save you! Out of the way you mugs! Nyeah! Nyeah!" Commando style, baby handed horror tottles across the parking lot swinging its squeegee in a wide arc as it tries to get to the other grunch, and reaches into some kind of unthinkable flesh pocket, producing what looks like an egg, which it throws down and creates a heavy burst of obscuring smoke.

Axle is far from buff, but Seraphine's also far from large, so with the power of inspiration and adrenaline, she seeks to drag her tiny butt toward the truck, using the hand that's still holding the tire iron to open the nearby tailgate and unceremoniously dumping the Changeling into the back, pushing her as she climbs in after her, leaving room for Jeanie to get in with them and, between the two of them, close the tailgate so Fawn can take off. To hell with Larry, Daryl and Cheezle.

Seraphine knows when she's teetering on the brink of no control. She abandons her spot trying to deal with the two entities and runs, just as fast as her heels can carry her to the truck and hops in. Thank /god/ she left her purse in the car! She'l have borboun to drink on the way home.

So long, flashlight. It was good to know you! Jeanie's mouth gapes as she swings and horribly misses. But with everybody else running, she's going to flee too. The monsters can keep her car. Safety in numbers and she'll pile into the back of the truck as well, shaking all the way to wherever SAFETY might be found.

Fawn is gripping that steering wheel tight, foot hovering over the gas pedal, and the second the girls are in with the tailgate up she's burning rubber! Or shooting a bunch of tiny gravel rocks at what's left of the creatures behind them. Hold on, girls! Sorry if ya get banged around a bit. Fawn's looking forward again and aiming to get the hell out of there! Picture her driving like Cruella De Vil in that snowy bank scene.

As tires screech and take Ramsey's old beat up farm truck away from the scene, in the darkness the voices whisper "I did not expect that... I thought they were just... Wait. We live in darkness... I mostly operate by smel.. DAMN IT! I WILL HAVE REVENGE! Cheezle. Gather my armies. They will not know what comes for them. And bring me a fresh goat."

~ FIN ~


Hit the Road Jack - Wolfgang Lohr and Maskarade