Logs:Adventure to Air Shrimp Boat - Hamsters of Unusual Size

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Adventure to Air Shrimp Boat - Hamsters of Unusual Size

Characters: Way, Ramsey, Fen, and Jeanie
Date: 2020-08-09
Summary: To build a very special boat, you need some very special materials. Way recruits some help but turns out the Forest has some very unusual inhabitants, even for the Hedge.

Giant hamster.jpg

The white board is out. So you know shit is getting real RIGHT NOW. The Gremlin is writing out some notes and a 'plan' for this expidition. They include things like 1.) Don't feed ANYTHING 2.) Remember to look up 3.) If it looks hungry, RUN! The entire trip is to get to a specific tree that has the wood needed for the air ship. Obviously they won't be able to carry all of that themselves, so Way has enlisted the help of his friend Mog and a wagon that was put together for this occasion. Wayfarer outlines the route to the forest and then it gets kind of iffy from there. "So in here is the ironwood tree." he states making a big swirly motion with the marker. "Any questions?"

And they are off! Once he opens the door into the hedge with three knocks a request and some glamour...he leads them inside. Then, when they are inside he says, "Mog should be waiting for us up the road a bit with the wagon. Just keep your eyes and ears open."

Fen was advised to dress for chance of sun. This was not especially reassuring, but she's seen Blade. And doesn't have cool suit of biker leathers. So she's dug her winter wear out from where ever she'd stashed it in Fawn's bus. Her beat up old leather jacket (over tee) jeans, sneakers. Would a wide-brimmed fedora suit the look? A little. But she doesn't have one of those, so it's a cheap straw sunhat. Her mirrored sunglasses and an umbrella (currently acting as a cane) finish the odd look. Does she look far too warm for a Lousiana summer? Oh hell yeah. But the temperature just doesn't affect her like it used to. And lo she tags along, uncertain what she's getting into. And prepared to resent Way for it.

Jeanie can help but shiver a bit as she walks over the threshold into the workshop. The second time doesn't make it any less unsettling apparently. The sky is dark this time, which makes sense seeing as it's night-time for the regular world so the time seems to correspond to the Hedge as well, at least for now and at least here. "Do you have like a chainsaw or something? Do chainsaws work in the hedge?" That probably was covered somewhere in the mess of notes on the board, but some questions bear repeating. But before they get too far, she does have one of those little personal battery powered fans that she passes over to Fen. "Thought you might need this. If the batteries die, just let me know."

Ramsey watches the presentation and then squints a little. "I get about where we start. And I get about where we're going. But why does all the space in between just look like a squiggle and maybe a frowny face?" Well. Might as well get it done. He is in his fighting flannel just in case of danger, and has an over-the-shoulder bag with supplies. Maybe some beer. Just for emergencies. "I think my shirt gives me a +3 to wielding axes."

"So...stay on the road. Just in case. There may not be anything bad, but better safe than sorry." he explains to them as the Gremlin begins down the pathway. It doesn't take long for them to catch sight of Mog, the massive Ogre sitting next to the large wagon. Way gives his big friend a wave and glances back at the others, "I think all of you have met, Mog...right?" As soon as the Ogre sees them, he stands up and starts brushing himself off. "Oh we have some axes already. In the wagon. And I already Upgraded them." Just a little Blessing of Perfection to give them +4? Mog steps around in front and grabs the huge handles of the cart to begin pulling it. This thing is like 20 feet long. Big enough to carry a bunch of logs...

The little vampire looks bemused. Thoughtfully puzzled? Is there a good word for this? Whatever it is, it's Fen, because she's never been in the Hedge before and she's just sort of drinking in the sensations of it. Is this... an alternate dimension? A dream-dimension like in Doctor Strange? What is all this? Weird.

Ramsey hasn't even gone down in the Hollow before. He's always seen it like one of those dividing lines. Like a neatly maintained garden wall. Or seeing someone at a place drinking one of those seltzer beers. Just seems a place he should stay away from. So he has not met Mog. Who gets a real squirrely look, but he doesn't seem to find it out of place either. "Alright. Seems simple enough." He goes to peek in the wagon to find one of the axes. "Oohh. Neat."

Maybe don't think too hard about dream-dimension in the Hedge or one might find theirself walking through the Gates of Horn. As it is, the Hedge doesn't really seem to know much of what to make of the very clearly non-Fae nature of most the group, more clouds gathering although no rain yet. Jeanie gives a very cautious nod to Way's reminder. "Right. And if we do get lost, stay put? Or well... just don't get Lost." She's making an effort to keep up with Mog's much longer strides, no being left behind for her! There must have been a shortcut somewhere because there's a hint of green coming up on the horizon as the trees appear.

"Yeah. Just don't get Lost. It might be very difficult to find you. If you want. Ride in the wagon. Mog can pull it." he remarks to those who might be worried about getting left behind of LOST. Way leads the ... way as it were. As they begin to see green coming up on the horizon, the Wizened speeds up a bit. It's obvious he is getting excited. This is getting them a step closer to finishing that massive project and then they will have an AIR SHIP! When he notices Ramsey he adds, "Careful with those axes. They are super sharp." Then as an after thought he adds, "And well balanced."

Yeah Fen doesn't actually believe the airship thing. Way is off his head. Of course there's Mog. And this whole deal with her riding a cart through an alternative dimension/plane/dreamspace. It becomes harder and harder to think other people are crazy when it is perhaps you who is losing their mind. "K." The axes are sharp and balanced. Good, good.

Ramsey keeps up with the walk, hefting an axe over one shoulder, as if accepting his fate at Paper Towels Man. "For all that every story ever says 'don't leave the path', I expect everyone leaves the path, right? It just seems too... Obvious..."

"I really don't intend to, especially not when thinking about all that stuff your friend said that one time about Them kidnapping folks," Jeanie pops herself in the wagon with Fen and the Very Sharp Axes, definitely keen on the whole 'not getting lost' business, and frowning as Ramsey suggests the whole leaving the path business, counterproductive to not getting lost! "I mean, people do leave the path and then get abducted by witches and the only way out is to shove her in her own oven. Stay away from any candy cottages, Rams. And stay with the group." She's just a little bit paranoid, especially as the trees get thicker and taller to the point where it almost gets dark enough under the branches that they could use some extra light source. "This is where your plan got a little hazy, right? Was there a specific tree you were looking for... or just the first of those iron-trees?"

With a pointed glance at Ramsey, there is a shake of the head. "No. This isn't a story. This isn't Hollywood. There aren't any happy endings here if you leave the path." Way tells him in a tone more serious than he may have seen most of the time. "If you read the real Fairy Tales....they are not cute or sweet. They are tragic. The Fae are ... not cool." His attention drifts to Jeanie at her question and he replies, "Just a nice big ironwood...big enough we can cut one down, replant one in it's place...and take it home. Like a Chrismas Tree, but a thousand times heavier."

As they are walking along, way reaches into his backpack and voila! A bright as HELL LED lamp. He holds it up to provide some more light and that is when he notices things are changed. "Hmmm...I don't remember that being so wide." the Gremlin mutters, then peers down at the footprints and glances back at them. Does he warn them? He contempates it for a moment before finally saying, "So nobody freak out..." Yeah because that is always the best way to start a sentence, "There may be something really really big out here in the forest."

Hey. Blood. Such things get her attention. Not alarmingly so - hey, blood is super common. Everyone has it you know - but it perks the senses. Really, Fen wouldn't say anything about it. Why freak people out. And now Way is doing that instead. Deep breath. "Blood has been spilled here." Wow the teen did not mean to quite phrase it so dramatically. Actually that was kind of cool. Ominious. I am the night. Yus, I can dig it.

What's that smelllll.....? Well. Fen figured out that... IT'S BLOOOOOD! But Ramsey squints a little bit, detecting something else. Wait... That's.." Ramsey's eyes widen. "There's something here. Hamsters." The most deadly of beasts. Cannibal rodentia.

Freak out? How about freak in? Jeanie curls up further in the wagon, peering over the edge towards Way and his LED lamp. "Something big, like the tree we're after, right?" There's the voice of hope against hope, cause clearly trees wouldn't be worthy of a don't freak out warning. And trees don't bleed. Ramsey's declaration of hamsters gets a blink. "Hamsters, like the this size hamsters?" She holds her hands about standard child's first pet rodent size. As they continue a little further, it's clear that the hamsters definitely aren't normal size as if those enormous tracks weren't enough. There's a clearing up ahead and from the clearing there comes a sound that is somehow high pitched and also rumbly. Giant rumble-squeaks if you would.

Squatting down to look at the footprints, Way takes what Ramsey says and extrapolates. "Giant Hamsters." he mutters, mostly to himself, because this is just insane. "I really don't want to die to a bunch of giant hamsters...lets make this quick. The trees should be right up here." the Lost declares and rises again to get moving quickly. He keeps the lantern high to make sure it illuminates everything he can in front of them. Then he stops upon hearing the sound. "What was that?" DUH he knows just as well as everybody else what that sound was. Way turns the lantern, accidently shining it right in Ramsey's eyes, but quickly recovers. "Sorry...uh you go first."

Did we mention Fen's avoiding Way's flashlight? She is. It's too bright. She does have her sunglasses on - because she's cool! - but dude that thing is like a billion lumens. She just can't. Just uses her hand to shield her face whenever. Having super-duper senses means there's some downsides. Giant hamsters? "Hamsters." Just sort of a flat return of the word. "Rodents of Unusual Size." Yeah she can deal better with that. Cultural references at all. She tries to look on forward for these ROUS, still shielding her face from Way's stupid flashlight.

Ramsey recoils a little, forearm coming across his face and he says "Gah! Shine that over.." squinting, Ramsey tries to clear all the floating spots and finds himself staring at the ground. "Wait. Those..." and then he sees them. Is this a dream or nightmare? Or is he going to attempt to ride one? These questions need to be answered and quick, but when Way says he should go first, he does, stepping in that direction, his posture conveying confidence. He's trained for this.

Has he really trained for this? The ROUSes seemed to have had at least some training as they scramble into something resembling an alert position. Or at least the uninjured one does and calls out a "HALT! WHO GOES THERE?" A very intimidating sounding rodent even if the voice sounds like it should go in a creature at least 30 smaller than he actually is. As for the injured hamster, he huddles behind his buddy. "Pik! It's the Parakeets! They've recruited //minions//!"

For now, Jeanie's just gonna stick to hiding in the wagon. It's mostly safe there, aside from the sharp blades.

Come on, lets be real. NOBODY is trained for this! Still, Ramsey has the best chance of not getting eaten by Cannibal Hamsters, right? Though if they wre cannibals, wouldn't they eat each other? Way falls in step behind the Rahu and watches carefully. He does hand the lantern over to Jeanie, either because he knows she will be more responsible with it, or because he needs his hands free. He motions for Mog to stop and Wayfarer continues on with Ramsey, asking, "Should we try the friendly approach?" A beat later he grins and adds, "We should do 'Get Help'"

He does look surprised at the alert, the reaction to their presence. He peers up at Ramsey and nudges him forward, "Tell them we come in peace...and uh to take us to their leader. Oh and that we don't work for the Parakeets. We hate the Parakeets."

Not gonna lie. The giant hamsters are kinda cute. She is hoping today is not going to end with a party wipe to cute monsters. That's somehow tragic and embaressing. "Parakeets?" To Way? "/Parakeets?/ What the fuck crazy petshop domain is this. Go with the peace thing. Give peace a chance." Wince. Did I just do a Lennon? G'damnit.

When Ramsey is put to it, he walks up toward the lead hamster. "Hail!" Oh shit, he's the one that runs their D&D game, isn't he? A thud of his fist to his chest. "I am Ramsey! A warrior of the Earth-Realm. We are no pawns of birds or bird-men, as the case may be. Who are you, noble travelers?!"

Wait, they're wanting to know his name? The hamster blinks, not expecting that, but nobody ever claimed he was the smartest rodent on the block or forest. "Pik. Ahhh... Sir Pickles, rather." There's a squint as the senior hamster peers at the group, sniffing a bit at the air towards Ramsey and eyeing Way and Fen. "You don't smell like the Parakeets." From behind, the other hamster is still almost shaking. "The parakeets can never be trusted. They've always been shifty. And I've never seen anything like them in this forest. What is that one anyways?" As much as Fen might think this is a horrible dream of My Little Petshop, the vampire seems to make the already nervous hamster even more on edge.

With a glance at Fen and her questioning, Way replies, "Don't aggitate them...just go with it." He isn't far behind Ramsey, just to his left a bit and when the dialog begins, he pays close attention. "Oh, Sir Pickles?! I've heard of you and your great deeds!" he says, sounding excited. "It's an honor to meet you Sir Pickles. Such an honor!" the Gremlin goes on and glances back to Fen when she is singled out. "Oh her? She's a... uh, she's a ... go on, tell them what she is, Rambo." he insists, nudging the Rahu who is now their spokesperson.

Fen? Aggitate? She's just sitting here! Being small. Thinking the giant hamsters are kinda cute and won't hopefully try to kill anyone tonight. Being threatening? No! Being kind of annoyed? Well, yes, usually! Is Ramsey having to explain her to giant rodents? Not something she expected to be happening to her today.

Ramsey glances back toward Fen, then Sir Pickles, then Way. "Some sort of virtuous bandit. Her aura of terror is from her old life, which she has left behind. This is Wayfarer. He is trying to bamboozle you. He is a well-intentioned jackanapes." It is very possible he is so stoned that he thinks he's in a game.

"You've heard of me?" For half a second, Sir Pickles seems flattered, before he turns his head back to glare at his cowering companion. "Buttons... they've heard of us. Have you been blabbing your big mouth again? That's how the Parakeets found us the last time..." At this, the smaller hamster is shaking his head vehmenetly. "I couldn't be running my mouth to anybody. I've been with you the whole time!" As for Ramsey's game, it does at least confuse the rodents. They hear words but somehow they don't make sense to them and soooo... SUSPICION. "Jackanape sounds like something a parakeet would like. Along with bamboozling. Coming to invade the Forests of Rodentia, sneakily under the cover of night. And hats."

Staring at Ramsey, the Gremlin's jaw drops for a moment. "What? Are you ratting me out? I thought we were on the same team here. Team NOT PARAKEET!" he exclaims as he glares at the Rahu for a moment. Then back toward the Giant Hamsters, Wayfarer holds his hands open. "Look, we aren't here for trouble. See...I make things. Wonderous things. I'm working on an Air Ship. But I need wood from this forest. So we were going to come in here and cut down a tree. THEN! We are going to plant a new one in it's place." he explains to the rodents. "So, if this is your land. What can we do to get access to one of the Ironwood trees?" He casts a glance back at Fen and whispers, "Get rid of the hat. They don't like hats."

What the actual fuck is Ramsey doing? Does he normally run diplo on these things? Does he? Oh this is his first time? Awesome. He's doing a great job of it. Way wants the hat gone? That's cool. Sun's not out. So Fen pulls off the straw hat, revealing her head of poorly-dying pink hair. Gives it a bit of a ruffle because hat-head. There? We all happy? Free of hats?

Ramsey runs diplomacy in that he is a good first person to be in between you and whoever relations are breaking down with. "He can't help what the parakeets like, but he is no feather-friend. I once saw him pluck a chicken using a powerful vacuum. It was unsettling, but just." Ramsey crosses his arms and glances behind him to see that Fen has complied. "With the air ship, we could be mighty allies. Allowing your noble warriors to take to the sky after the parakeet foe."

Jeanie's way too unnerved by all things Hedgy at the moment to be running any sort of diplomacy. Wagons are much safer and she's sticking to the wagon and letting the guys do their thing.

The removal of Fen's hat does seem to alleviate at least one of Corporal Button's concerns. As does the story about de-feathering a chicken which gets some amused chittering from both hamsters at the image. Sir Pickles peers at the Wizened at the mention of wondrous things and more importantly Air Ships. "The Parakeets come at us from the air. If we give you access to a tree, what wondrous thing could you give us for our fight?" It's currently an if, but they're willing to consider the offer.

At Ramsey's telling of him defeathering a chicken, the Gremlin laughs and nods at that, "That was a very powerful vacuum though." Oh yeah, they are negotiating. Wayfarer returns his attention on the Hamsters and hmms, "Well for one...if you let us get the wood we need to finish the air ship, you can ride in it. It will be armed and we can help you defend against the Parakeets." He leaves it at that for the moment, just to see how they take it. "We could form a strong alliance. How many more of you are there?"

Fen didn't think that hat went with her outfit anyway. Straw hat is more of a... a... sundress thing. Does the vampire seem a bit calm through all this? Well... kinda. Accepting you might be going mad is sort of relieving. And her Beast? Apparently is not finding giant hamsters particularly predatory. We're all chill over here. Because this is madness and we're riding the wave. Looks at the little fan Jeanie gave her like it hasn't occured to her until just now WHY. Ooh, right. The warm thing. Best just pocket it for now, in case it threatens rodents or whatever how am I suppose to understand what's going on here.

"Air superiority is not to be underestimated. Being able to compete on their own turf is a valuable tool. He could also fashion you battle parachutes. I have seen them. Perhaps a glider."

This is a mighty offer to take in and the hamster duo are gonna need a moment. "If you'll excuse us..." They turn slightly and being a rapid fire squeaking between the two, maybe debating pros and cons, but Sir Pickles seems enthusiastic when he turns around. "It sounds like we may be able to strike a deal. One tree, which you will also replant, in exchange for you and your air ship's assistance on an aerial raid against the dreaded Parakeet legion. They'll never see it coming!" The cackle of probably glee is a little bit distrubing coming from an animal as large as Sir Pickles. "All told, there are about twenty of us in Rodentia, but not all are skilled in fighting. There are many more of the Parakeets, and while they may be tiny, don't underestimate them! Our foes are vicious!" buttons is over there nodding his head and holds out that bandaged paw as proof.

Glancing between Ramsey and Fen, then the Hamsters, there is a bit of a frown when SIr Pickles comes back with the reply. "Hold on...one second." Wayfarer tells them, turning and pulling them with him to discuss matters of their own. "I dunno...I said defend against the Parakeets. I don't think we should get dragged into a war we know nothing about. What if..." he glances over at the armored Hamsters briefly. He speaks in very hushed tones so they can't hear. "What if the Parakeets aren't the bad guys?"

Actually Fen's sort of glad she's here now. Because this is all completely rediculous. The rats and the pigeons are at war. Way is brokering aid so we can go chop down a magic tree he needs for his airship. "No one ever thinks they're the bad guy," she'll point out. Haphazard-metaphorical. Except that Billie Eilish song. But that's not really topical. Is Fen the bad guy? No! She just steals blood for nourishment. They have more! Really it's just selfish that they're all keeping it for themselves. She's into proactive blood donation, is all. Yes. She's freakin' hero. See this DOES work. Awesome.

Ramsey considers Way's words. "It's possible. Perhaps you should negotiate a different deal. Maybe they will be interested in trade. Cardboard tubes of great dimension."

"Oh giant cardboard tubes. THink that would work?" he asks with an arch of brows at Ramsey. Okay...lets counter their offer." When he breaks away from the others, he smiles at Fen briefly as if he might just be enjoying this adventure. Turning back to the hamsters he gets serious again and clears his throat. "Okay so Captain Rambo here and myself, we would be happy to help defend against the Parakeets, but not go to war with them. BUT, we can also offer you..." he he makes a biiiig motion with his hands, changing his voice to make it seem wonderful, "Cardboard Tubes of Great Dimensions...trademark."

Hamsters do like toilet rolls, if she recalls elementary school well enough. There was a hamster cage in one of her grades. Perhaps they'll want to chew on them or make a giant fort. Yeah this is all crazy. Madness. Fen is keeping this to herself, of course. Because it probably isn't. Her life has been too weird lately to just assume anything is her imagination. Unless it's all madness. Hmm. Something to think about later. In the hot tub. Tilts her head a bit to get a better look at Way and his negotiations. Should Way be bigger than the hamsters? Everything is backwards.

Defend but not attack seems to go against whatever logic operates the giant hamster's brain, but the mention of Cardboard Tubes is compelling as Sir Pickles tilts his head. "Would these tubes be big enough for our lady hamsters and baby hamsters to hide in? The Parakeets have been attacking them whenever they can get the chance as well, you see..." Or maybe one of the momma hamsters got hungry and needed a snack and blamed it on their bird-foes. Cannibal hamsters are always a possiblity.

Ramsey lets Way field this one, crossing his arms. He doesn't know what size tubes can be produced, but he is confident that they can be. Humanitarian aid to Rodentia does sound like a better mission. Though these parakeets do sound like dicks.

"Oh, well...yeah I can make them that big. Sure...I can figure it out." Way tells them with a tip of his head in agreement. "You got it." he finally declares and steps forward toward the Hamsters slowly, carefully. Extending his hand out to them he offers, "Shake on it? Like gentlemen?"

Fen is still sitting quietly in the cart, thinking her thoughts. Watching negotiations. Wearing her deadpan. It's the best expression for all occasions, really.

"Yes, and a deal is a deal," Sir Pickles will be the one to seal said deal with the Gremlin and don't let the cute appearance fool anybody, the Giant hamster takes his deals as seriously as any other hobgoblin might. But since an agreement has been reached, Buttons will be delegated to assist the mackley to an appropriate tree for air ship purposes, although they're gonna be on their own for the whole chopping down of the tree, injured paw and all that.